<\/p>\n
A Woman From Montana Goes to Her Doctor…<\/p>\n
A woman from Montana goes to her doctor, concerned about her husband’s lack of interest in anything romantic.<\/p>\n
The doctor asks, “Have you tried Viagra?”<\/p>\n
She shakes her head.<\/p>\n
“Not a chance. He won’t even take aspirin.”<\/p>\n
The doctor smiles.<\/p>\n
“No problem. Just give him some Montana Viagra.”<\/p>\n
She frowns.<\/p>\n
“Montana Viagra?”<\/p>\n
“Simple,” the doctor says. “Crush the pill into his morning coffee. He won’t taste a thing.”<\/p>\n
The woman thanks him and leaves.<\/p>\n
A week later, she calls the doctor’s office in a panic.<\/p>\n
The doctor gets on the phone.<\/p>\n
“Ma’am, what’s wrong? Did it not work?”<\/p>\n
“Work?” she yells. “It worked too well!”<\/p>\n
The doctor pauses.<\/p>\n
“What happened?”<\/p>\n
She takes a deep breath.<\/p>\n
“Well, I slipped it into his coffee just like you said.”<\/p>\n
“Okay…”<\/p>\n
“He drank it.”<\/p>\n
“Good.”<\/p>\n
“Then he stood up from the breakfast table.”<\/p>\n
“That’s promising.”<\/p>\n
“It gets worse.”<\/p>\n
The doctor adjusts his glasses.<\/p>\n
“Worse?”<\/p>\n
“He grabbed me right there in the kitchen.”<\/p>\n
The doctor smiles.<\/p>\n
“Well, that’s usually the idea.”<\/p>\n
“You don’t understand!”<\/p>\n
“What happened?”<\/p>\n
“He swept everything off the table!”<\/p>\n
“The table?”<\/p>\n
“Everything! The cereal, the orange juice, the newspaper, my reading glasses!”<\/p>\n
The doctor is trying not to laugh.<\/p>\n
“And then?”<\/p>\n
“He kissed me like we were newlyweds!”<\/p>\n
The doctor chuckles.<\/p>\n
“Sounds romantic.”<\/p>\n
“Romantic? That’s not the problem!”<\/p>\n
“What is the problem?”<\/p>\n
The woman sighs dramatically.<\/p>\n
“We can’t ever go back to that diner again!”<\/p>\n
The doctor is confused.<\/p>\n
“Diner?”<\/p>\n
“Yes! I accidentally put the coffee in HIS thermos.”<\/p>\n
The doctor nearly drops the phone.<\/p>\n
“His thermos?”<\/p>\n
“That’s right.”<\/p>\n
“Where did he drink it?”<\/p>\n
“At the diner where he meets his ranch buddies every morning.”<\/p>\n
The doctor is silent.<\/p>\n
“Oh no.”<\/p>\n
“Oh yes.”<\/p>\n
“What happened?”<\/p>\n
The woman continues.<\/p>\n
“He jumped up from his booth.”<\/p>\n
The doctor groans.<\/p>\n
“Oh dear.”<\/p>\n
“He grabbed me across the table.”<\/p>\n
“You were there?”<\/p>\n
“Of course I was there!”<\/p>\n
The doctor braces himself.<\/p>\n
“And then?”<\/p>\n
“He kissed me in front of the entire restaurant.”<\/p>\n
The doctor starts laughing.<\/p>\n
The woman isn’t finished.<\/p>\n
“He knocked over three cups of coffee.”<\/p>\n
“Oh no.”<\/p>\n
“He snapped a suspender.”<\/p>\n
“Good grief.”<\/p>\n
“He tore a booth cushion.”<\/p>\n
The doctor can barely breathe.<\/p>\n
“And then?”<\/p>\n
She says, “Then he picked me up and carried me to the pickup truck.”<\/p>\n
The doctor is laughing uncontrollably.<\/p>\n
“So what’s the problem?”<\/p>\n
The woman answers:<\/p>\n
“The problem is that after 35 years, everyone in town finally knows we still like each other.”<\/p>\n
The doctor wipes away tears.<\/p>\n
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”<\/p>\n
There is a long pause.<\/p>\n
Then the woman says:<\/p>\n
“Maybe not.”<\/p>\n
Another pause.<\/p>\n
“Actually, it was kind of nice.”<\/p>\n
The doctor smiles.<\/p>\n
“So everything worked out?”<\/p>\n
“Mostly.”<\/p>\n
“Mostly?”<\/p>\n
“Yeah.”<\/p>\n
“What happened?”<\/p>\n
“My husband wants another thermos.”<\/p>\n
The End.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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