A Woman From Montana Goes to Her Doctor…
A woman from Montana goes to her doctor, concerned about her husband’s lack of interest in anything romantic.
The doctor asks, “Have you tried Viagra?”
She shakes her head.
“Not a chance. He won’t even take aspirin.”
The doctor smiles.
“No problem. Just give him some Montana Viagra.”
She frowns.
“Montana Viagra?”
“Simple,” the doctor says. “Crush the pill into his morning coffee. He won’t taste a thing.”
The woman thanks him and leaves.
A week later, she calls the doctor’s office in a panic.
The doctor gets on the phone.
“Ma’am, what’s wrong? Did it not work?”
“Work?” she yells. “It worked too well!”
The doctor pauses.
“What happened?”
She takes a deep breath.
“Well, I slipped it into his coffee just like you said.”
“Okay…”
“He drank it.”
“Good.”
“Then he stood up from the breakfast table.”
“That’s promising.”
“It gets worse.”
The doctor adjusts his glasses.
“Worse?”
“He grabbed me right there in the kitchen.”
The doctor smiles.
“Well, that’s usually the idea.”
“You don’t understand!”
“What happened?”
“He swept everything off the table!”
“The table?”
“Everything! The cereal, the orange juice, the newspaper, my reading glasses!”
The doctor is trying not to laugh.
“And then?”
“He kissed me like we were newlyweds!”
The doctor chuckles.
“Sounds romantic.”
“Romantic? That’s not the problem!”
“What is the problem?”
The woman sighs dramatically.
“We can’t ever go back to that diner again!”
The doctor is confused.
“Diner?”
“Yes! I accidentally put the coffee in HIS thermos.”
The doctor nearly drops the phone.
“His thermos?”
“That’s right.”
“Where did he drink it?”
“At the diner where he meets his ranch buddies every morning.”
The doctor is silent.
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes.”
“What happened?”
The woman continues.
“He jumped up from his booth.”
The doctor groans.
“Oh dear.”
“He grabbed me across the table.”
“You were there?”
“Of course I was there!”
The doctor braces himself.
“And then?”
“He kissed me in front of the entire restaurant.”
The doctor starts laughing.
The woman isn’t finished.
“He knocked over three cups of coffee.”
“Oh no.”
“He snapped a suspender.”
“Good grief.”
“He tore a booth cushion.”
The doctor can barely breathe.
“And then?”
She says, “Then he picked me up and carried me to the pickup truck.”
The doctor is laughing uncontrollably.
“So what’s the problem?”
The woman answers:
“The problem is that after 35 years, everyone in town finally knows we still like each other.”
The doctor wipes away tears.
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
There is a long pause.
Then the woman says:
“Maybe not.”
Another pause.
“Actually, it was kind of nice.”
The doctor smiles.
“So everything worked out?”
“Mostly.”
“Mostly?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
“My husband wants another thermos.”
The End.
